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Decisions, Decisions

  1. FRIDAY, APRIL 18, 2008 It’s a funny thing. I asked God to help me to learn something new or be reminded of something that He wants me to know every day. Sadly, today I’ve been busy and not paying much attention to much of anything. I guess you could say that I wasn’t anxiously awaiting what God might have to show me. In spite of my lack of awareness, God is faithful to still answer my prayer for His wisdom and guidance. He plopped a lesson right into my lap when I least expected it. Actually, even as I write I’m still coming to terms with what He is teaching me. I just found out that my beautiful angelic little Miss Megan has been keeping a secret. I found that secret “stash” of homework assignment sheets and spelling assignments stuffed in her backpack. There had to have been two weeks worth of assignments in there! I was furious!!!!! I have made it abundantly clear to both of the kids how important it is to turn their homework in. We’ve actually been through this same dilemma a couple of times before-except on a much smaller scale. Of course, because I had already talked with her about this in the not too distant past, I was even more upset! In my head I was thinking, “I can’t believe that she disobeyed me- AGAIN!!! She is going to be grounded for a year! No, maybe half a year! Well, maybe a couple of months. Oh shucks, I guess that might be a little harsh. It’ll only be for a month! That ought to get the lesson through to her!” WHATEVER!!!!!!!! Enter dilemma #2…. This whole situation with my ex leaving has been hard on me. However, God has allowed me to see that He is working for the good of all of us during this time. So I have been trying to keep my focus on God and not on my ex. But for some unknown reason today I got angry at him for leaving me. Not just for leaving me…. But for leaving me with all of the responsibilities. I am angry at him for thinking of no one but himself. I’ve been struggling with my anger toward him. And now I’m struggling with my disappointment in Megan for not turning in her homework. I’m glad that I can say that I’m struggling, because as my very wise friend pointed out, struggling means that I’m not just stuck in my anger and disappointment. God has been working in me this whole evening, allowing me to come to the realization that I have to deal with what I’m feeling differently. Why? Not because I shouldn’t be upset that my ex left, or frustrated because Megan didn’t turn in her homework. It’s because I am just as human as they are! I am just as guilty of making them and other people angry or disappointed. And yet, even in my worst moments, God still chooses to forgive me!!! And I know me!!!! I know how very unworthy of God’s forgiveness that I am! But He still forgives me, and not just that, but He still LOVES me!!!!! Romans 4:7-8 says, “Blessed are they whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him.” WHO AM I TO WITHHOLD FORGIVENESS IF GOD IS SO WILLING TO FREELY FORGIVE ME?? I am not above the God of all creation!!!!! If He chooses to forgive me, than I most certainly have the responsibility to follow His example!!! So, with Megan, I will not lose my cool and yell in anger! I will talk calmly with her and let her know that her homework MUST be turned in. But I will let her know that it is for her benefit that I am teaching her this lesson. I want her to learn to be obedient to me and her teachers so she will also know how to be obedient to God!!!! And as for my ex….. It’s difficult because there is no recognition that he is hurting me. But I also know that there have been many times that I have hurt God and not recognized my failures. And yet He still chooses to forgive me! So I will choose to forgive my ex, but not only that… I will ask God to help me to do what He does with me…. I will ask Him to give me love to shower on my ex so that he will see Jesus!!! Lord, let every decision that I make today and for the rest of my days be made not in anger or haste, but in your wisdom and love! AMEN! POSTED BY KRISTIN AT 9:33 PM

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