SATURDAY, AUGUST 23, 2008
I’ve been doing alot of thinking lately. Scary, I know! :o)
In the past it’s been so hard for me to understand why people aren’t able to trust in God. I’ve wondered why they so easily put the blame on Him for everything that goes wrong in this world. I guess for most of my life I’ve seen that there is evil at work in this world and that there are bad things that are bound to happen as a result of that. So although I haven’t liked much of what I’ve seen along the path of my life’s journey, I’ve just accepted that this is what it is. That God is not at fault for things going wrong.
Ok, here comes the hard part…. Because this is where I admit that I’ve been questioning some of the things that I believed. I just have to make you aware that when I say that I have questioned, it is only because I have gone through such gut-wrenching, heart-breaking, I don’t know how I’m still standing!, when will the tears stop pouring? days that now I am forced to confront my doubts. And admit that I am a human being. And like every other human being on the face of this earth, I am not going to understand everything that happens.
I was reading in Mark 4 about the disciples that were in the boat with Jesus. So I tried to put myself in their place. How amazing it must have been to be living, walking, eating, hearing God’s very word, and spending every moment with the man they knew to be the living Son of God. Then one day, they set sail with their Lord in a boat. How could things get any better? I mean, what harm could possibly come to them when the one who raised Lazarus from the dead and turned water into wine was there to protect them? This is how I’ve pictured myself for years now…. in the boat with Jesus. Not afraid because I was certain that He would not allow me to be hurt.
Mark 4:37&38 say, “A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, ‘Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?’.” This is where I’m at right now. I’ve faced one too many squalls, and I’m asking Jesus, “Don’t you care if I drown?” I don’t know about you, but I don’t like it when a boat rocks too much. I don’t like to feel like I don’t know what’s going to happen when I’m in the middle of a storm.
I was talking to my Aunt just today about things that people go through that make them doubt God. She lost her son because someone chose to drive drunk. She went for years thinking that it was all God’s fault. And then there was another person that came up in our conversation. I found out recently that this person was attending church, but then I also found out that they weren’t really all that sure about God. They have doubts. It made me sad because I don’t want anyone to doubt God. But then I realized: I have my doubts too. I struggle too. The truth is that when I go through things that feel like they’re going to break me in two, I wonder what God is doing. I wonder why He allows me to go through so much hurt and pain and what it could possibly accomplish. It turns out that we’re all in the same boat. You can’t be human and not have questions. You can’t be human and not get concerned when things seem like they’re falling apart all around you. Or when a storm threatens to overtake your boat….
Mark 4:39-41 say, “He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, ’ Quiet! Be still! ’ Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to his disciples, ’ Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith? ’ They were terrified and asked each other, ’ Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!’ ”.
I guess that’s what it all boils down to. Do you have faith, or don’t you? I know that alot of people look at the Bible and think that it’s just a bunch of stories. Why would you actually put faith in it? My answer is this: 2 Timothy 3:16 says that all Scripture is God-breathed. God inspired man to write these words so we could learn more about Him. And so that when we read all the stories about Moses parting the Red Sea, or Noah building the Ark, or Jesus calming the waves of the sea, we would understand what a powerful God He is. And if He is that great of a God, then we should be able to put our trust in Him. Even if we don’t understand why we’re going through one of life’s many storms. There’s a song by a group called 4Him. One of their songs goes like this: “And though down here I may not understand, I won’t let go of the unseen hand; for it holds the reasons why.” . I don’t know, but God does. And I know whatever the outcome of the storm is, I can trust God. He knows everything about me and everything I feel- He made me after all (Psalm 139). If He cared enough to make me who I am, then I know that He cares about all the other details in my life as well. And that goes for everyone else who’s in the boat too.
Please God, help me and all those that I know and love trust you in spite of our pain and suffering and all the questions that come as a result. Give us the faith that it takes to believe in you even when we can’t see you. AMEN!
POSTED BY KRISTIN AT 3:06 PM
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