Monday, September 28, 2015
Today, my almost 17 year old daughter had an EMG done. It is, in medical terms, a test that, using a form of electric shock stimulation, determines the ability of a nerve or a muscle in the body to perform the task that it was originally designed to do. Let me just interject that about 10 years ago, we (her father and I) had taken her to a specialist, a surgeon, that could operate on her and fix the “abnormality” that she was either born with or what occurred to her during her birth.
That surgery didn’t take place all those years ago… It wasn’t the way that I wanted things to go, but God had bigger plans. He knew exactly what the future held 10 years down the road (and He still knows what lies beyond today.)
I re-read a post from 2008 from my old blog… One that I had written about not being certain what God was going to bring into my life, but being ok with whatever it was that He did bring into my life. There are still many things that I am uncertain of…. but one thing I am not uncertain of is that God’s way, God’s truth, God’s purpose unfolds exactly how it supposed to and when it is supposed to…
As I said, my plan was that my daughter have this surgery 10 years ago. Because it didn’t happen then, I assumed it was not meant to happen at all. To be honest, I still don’t know if it is meant to happen. Based on my current circumstances, I don’t know how it will work. I don’t see how God will provide a way for it to happen. But I have seen God give me peace in the current process. I have seen that He is bringing us step by step through this same, but different process of leading Megan to the surgery that she needs to have. I have fear of what may happen in the future based upon what I can see… But God, in His infinite wisdom, sees not only MY current circumstances, but everything that will happen from this day forward.
My almost 17 year old daughter amazes me!! She had this medical test done today where needles were stuck into her face to test the viability of a muscle. The surgeon will have to look at the results and determine where we proceed from here. But my daughter, who has always been absolutely terrified of needles, was unexplicably calm. I only saw her flinch one time. Only one of the times that the needle was inserted into her muscles did I see a slight tear well up in her eyes. She made no sound, she did not complain, she did not protest, and she didn’t whimper. She just withstood the pain of the procedure and was so…. STRONG!! So unlike the child she was 10 years ago. But watching her today, I knew that God has been working in her life all along. I see how God has grown her over the last 10 years. And I see how God has done the same with me…
Today some things went seemingly haywire, but my trust in God allowed me to take a step back and say to God, “I know that I am seeing things as they appear now… but I trust that You see all that is to come… and I trust that every single little detail is in your hands.” Instead of concentrating or focusing on the bad things that seemed to be happening… when I saw them happening, I told God, “You already knew this was coming, and I trust You to bring good out of this.” And to make a long story short, that is exactly what He did.
Too many examples to give, but just a few highlights of how He was faithful in one day… One, we made it to this place safely. Two, my car, when it was acting up, made it to where we needed to go, and when we left, made it all the way home again, without any incidents. Three, my daughter was made strong when normally she would be weak. Four, there was a healing in a relationship that by the world’s standards was beyond repair. God gave grace, God gave mercy, God said to have no fear…. And I listened…. And I believed…. And once again, He proved Himself faithful!
Do I have all the answers? No…. not yet… Will I ever have the answers that I am looking for in this lifetime? Highly unlikely…. But I know that right when I need an answer that God will provide exactly what I need to know, when I need to know it. And the rest… that I will have no fear in… because I know that One who holds all the answers…. Here is the post from 2008 that sparked the truth of how we need not have any fear….
Sunday, August 24, 2008
I didn’t realize it until just recently, but the truth is that I can find something to fear in any given situation on any given day. I actually am constantly on my guard because I’m sure that something is going to go wrong. Alot of that has to do with that I have had alot of things go wrong in my life. Well, at least wrong as far as I’m concerned. So, as the saying goes, I’m always “waiting for the other shoe to drop”. I don’t want to hurt, I don’t want to be rejected, I don’t want to lose the things that are the most precious to me, and I certainly don’t want to go through anything difficult for any length of time. I don’t want to spend my whole life wishing that it was better.
But as my friend pointed out, that could very well be the case. And if I did, I wouldn’t be the first to have a life like that. As she said, there were children who went through the holocaust that spent their whole lives being tortured and then they died in the concentration camps. And then the Israelites when they lived in Egypt were slaves, many of them for their entire lives. So why should I expect that I am any better? Why should I be guaranteed a life of blissful happiness? Well, like it or not, I don’t have that guarantee, and as long as I’m on this earth, I won’t. It’s how I choose to live my life in spite of what is happening to me that matters.
Proverbs 3:3-7 says, “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.”
I may never understand why my life is what it is. I may never like what happens in my life. But what matters is whether I decide to not live in fear. I can choose to trust God even when I can’t even begin to fathom what the purpose is for what I’m going through. Even when I want to scream at the top of my lungs that what I’m enduring is too much for me to bear. And although I have no idea what’s in store for me at the next bend in the road, I can rely on God who is big enough to see the bigger picture. And I can look forward to heaven where God will wipe away every tear.
God, I will not pretend that I understand everything that you allow to happen in my life. And I will not pretend that I like it. But I do ask that You will help me to not be wise in my own eyes, but to look to you for understanding. And to trust you in whatever comes. AMEN!Posted by