THURSDAY, OCTOBER 30, 2008 My daughter and I have been at odds for some time now. I am very well aware that this is not an uncommon problem amongst moms and their children. Especially when it comes to teaching them right from wrong. I however, have not been sure whether our problems stemmed from just the typical mother-daughter conflict or if it has something to do with the change that has occurred in our family. It seems as though since it has been the three of us that things have gotten worse between she and I. The truth is that I could spend all day every day trying to figure out what is causing the behavior, and it still wouldn’t change the fact that something is wrong and needs to be fixed. At the end of last school year, I found out that she wasn’t turning in homework. Now this year, it has been that same issue, but on top of it, her grades have been slipping in a big way. Every time I’ve tried to talk to her about it, I get the same answer. Ok, Mom, I’ll change. I’ll quit hurrying. I’ll do better. And then, I find out a few days later that we’re pretty much back to square one. Then there’s the issue of attitude. Boy, do I catch it from her!!! There are times when I honestly want to sit back and cry because I am so at my wits’ end! It all feels so hopeless sometimes. So, one day not too long ago, we were having the same discussion that we’ve had for months now. I feel like a broken record, and I know that she’s not having any fun hearing the same things over and over again. So this time I stopped and took time to pray. I asked God what I could do to make things different. I had asked her to leave the room so I could call a friend and have her pray with me. And when she came back I told her that I wasn’t happy about the grades and the attitude, but that no matter what she did or said that I would love her. I told her that there would never be anything that she could ever do in this life that would make me stop loving her. And for just a few brief peaceful moments, things were good. She told me that she knew that I loved her no matter what! So, in spite of all that we are still struggling with, I am thankful that God gave me the opportunity to make sure that she knows that my love for her does not depend on her behavior. That got me to thinking. Dangerous, I know. I realized that my relationship with God is so very much like mine with my daughter. I have rules; she pushes and tries to get me to bend, because she wants her way. God has rules, but I push and try to see if I can get my way. She sees my rules and discipline as restrictive. She can’t possibly see that I am trying to correct her behavior now so that in the future life won’t be more difficult for her. God does the same with me, but I don’t always want to accept that if He is correcting me it is so I will not have to learn the same lessons over and over again. She is stubborn and determined to get what she wants from me. I have been stubborn and determined to get what I want from God. She wants what she wants right now! She can’t see that there are things that you just can’t have right away, or that there are some things that she just can’t have because they are not good for her. I am no different. I want what I want, and I don’t want to have to wait. And I most certainly don’t want to be told no, even if it’s because God knows that something is not good for me. All of these are ways that I realized that I am no different with God than my daughter is with me. We’ve been practicing a song in choir called “East to West”. Every time I hear the words of that song, I am reminded of just how thankful I am that God chooses to forgive me in spite of all of my selfish and sinful ways. Psalm 103:8-18 says, “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows that we are dust. As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower on the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children-with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.” I am so thankful that God helped me to stop and take a breath and pray that day that my daughter and I were fighting and getting nowhere fast!!!! He helped me to remember what was really, truly important. The fact of the matter is that even though she drives me batty sometimes, I love her anyway. And I believe with all of my heart that God says that same thing to me: “No matter what you do, I will love you anyway.” POSTED BY KRISTIN AT 9:39 PM
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