Sunday, July 19, 2015
Take two…
I was prompted tonight to re-read some of the entries that I wrote nearly seven years ago. Ironically, it seems that there are times now that I can glean more wisdom
now
from the person that I
used to be.
I read several of my entries until I came upon one that just seemed to speak to where I am at now. I actually sat down and started writing down some thoughts that occurred to me after reading said entry, only to realize that what I wanted, no, what I
needed
to say wasn’t coming out quite right… So I went outside to clear my head. As I was standing on my deck looking at the beautiful sunset, God gave me a bit of wisdom that my former self wouldn’t have had. Something that only time can teach…
You see, I have realized that even though it is not my wish, that I am still a broken individual. In my writing from a post that I made years ago, I talked about a venture in which a symbolic vessel being broken represented how a person’s life can be broken and put back together. In my writing I recognized that the vessel could only truly be pieced back together by the hand of God. That is as true today as it was back then…
But what I have realized, in point of fact, just this evening, is that as broken vessels, our pieces are ever so slowly, and throughout our lifetimes, being pieced back together. It is not an instantaneous transformation. We are made whole because of the transforming work of God, but because we are human, we, while in this world, will always be a work in progress. A piece of art that is constantly being shaped and molded in the Potter’s hands. And truly, the only way that He can constantly shape us is this…
When we get caught up in everyday life… when we start out on one path, following it with sheer will and determination, only to find that it is the WRONG way (kind of like what I started to write earlier)… but then by some miracle God stops us, and (like while I was on the deck looking at the beautiful sunset) we are able to gain a moment of clarity, re-group our thoughts and plans, and begin down yet another path. I believe now, that the moments when we can step back and realize that we are traveling the wrong road are the times that God is piecing us back together. Why? Because we all make mistakes. We all go down the wrong roads. But the times that we not only listen to, but heed the still small voice telling us to stop… telling us to go another direction, are the times that another piece of our broken vessels are glued back together…
In my earlier writing, as you will see, I had not yet broken the pitcher that I talked about. I did later, finally let it fall and watched as it shattered to pieces. There was a sense of relief at first that I finally went through with the breaking…. but then there was a sadness… the heavy realization that this broken pitcher truly did represent me. I do not
enjoy
being broken… It is painful… but it is also necessary. Had I not been broken in the first place, I would not realize the joy of being put back together by the Master Potter… and I would not realize that although this life comes to an end, the pieces that God puts back together are of far greater value… eternal value. So, given the perspective that I have been given all these years later, I hope that you will read what I wrote years ago and take into account what this broken vessel has learned since then… and let God put all the pieces together for you…
Friday, September 5, 2008
I’ve had this pitcher for a couple of months now. Maybe even longer. To be honest, I’ve kind of lost track of the time. I purchased it because my friend told me about a little experiment that another woman tried. She took a simple pitcher which represented her life, and let it fall to the floor and shatter into pieces. And then she put it back together again. Sounds goofy right? I mean, why would you take something that is whole, and let it break into hundreds of tiny bits, only to try to put it back together again??
Which brings me back to my point earlier– that I still have this pitcher. It is still in one piece. One big, unbroken piece…. And it is that way for a reason. Because it really does symbolize my life. The point of this exercise is to allow the pitcher to be broken so that it can be re-shaped. But I haven’t been able to bring myself to break it because then it would mean that I am allowing myself to be broken in spirit. And I, my friends, do not take kindly to being broken. I am as stubborn as a mule! As an ox! “Why do I need to be fixed?”, is what I think. “Why can’t it be the other guy?” is my plea. And God’s answer is this: “But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? ’ Shall what is formed say to Him who formed it, "Why did you make me like this?” ’ “. (Romans 9:20). Ouch!!! I think it probably hurts me more to think that I might have offended God and kept Him from doing His work in me than it would hurt for me to allow myself to be broken and reshaped by Him.
The reality is that God knows me so much better than I know myself. It doesn’t seem possible that there could be someone who could know us better than we know ourselves, but there is (Check out Psalm 139 and you will see). And if God knows me that intimately, than why am I so afraid of letting Him make me into something that He knows will be better in the long run? Jeremiah 18:4 says, "But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.”.
I’m scared of the unknown. I’m scared of letting go of all that I know and allowing Someone else to take control of the reins. My friend made a comment earlier today that I am paying more attention to now. I had told her that I felt like I was stuck. That I wasn’t really moving forward anywhere. I want to move. And she told me that I would move forward faster if I wasn’t digging in my heels. To which I shrugged my shoulders and said, “I’m letting God do whatever He wants to do.”. But even though I’ve felt like I’m giving up control of my life to God, I don’t believe that I really could have. Because God won’t take control if someone isn’t really willing to let Him. If I don’t allow myself to become broken, how can God change me? I will be stuck if I keep this up!
I think maybe it’s time for me to break that pitcher!!!!!!! Maybe then I can truly be clay in the hands of the Potter!
God, You know the deepest parts of me! You know what is best for me! I don’t! Help me to forget and let go of all that I’ve thought was best so that You can do what You know is best! Not just for me, but for my whole family as well! Your will be done! AMEN!!Posted by