MONDAY, JUNE 2, 2008 I think I need to go to Hawaii. Yes, that is exactly what I need to do. It’s time for a nice little trip so I can clear my head. You see, I think that I have discovered that I have a “brain cloud”. That can be the only explanation for the strange behavior that I find myself exhibiting lately…. I mean, why on earth would I be acting this way if there wasn’t some strange disease that was clouding my judgement? So that’s why I’ve decided that it’s time to go to the edge of the volcano. Maybe once I get there and look over into the deep, roiling, angry lake of fire that lies below- maybe then I will come to my senses. Then again, maybe I’m not going off the deep end after all. It all depends on which perspective you’re looking from…. Perspective # 1: The professional opinion of those who don’t give a whit about what God thinks… “She’s a nut job! She’s lost it!” Perspective # 2: The thoughts of those who believe in God, but think that it’s safest to proceed with caution…. “She’s still nuts!” Perspective #3: The point of view of those who know that God is capable of miracles…. “Right on Sister!!!!!!” To be honest, sometimes I think I am nuts! Here I am in a situation that for all intents and purposes seems hopeless! The ultimate of lost causes! I want to spend my life with someone who doesn’t want to give love a fighting chance. Why on earth would I subject myself to such a painful existence? The answer is simple: Because God won’t let me give up! Whenever I feel like telling love to take a leap, God binds it like an anchor to my heart. And He reminds me that even when I am at my worst, I am not a lost cause. So why should this relationship be any different? I couldn’t find anything Biblical to back up my wild notions until someone pointed me in the right direction. She told me that I should check out the story of Hannah in 1 Samuel Chapter 1. Hannah, like me, longed for something desperately. She watched as another woman received the gift that she had so dreamed of. “Year after year” her prayers were not answered, and she “wept and would not eat”. But still she continued to pray! In a town called Shiloh, Hannah made her way to the temple where she once again lifted her heart’s desire to God. 1 Samuel 1:10&11 say, “In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord. And she made a vow saying, ‘O Lord Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant, but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life…..”. 1 Samuel 1:20 says, “So in the course of time Hannah conceived and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel saying, 'Because I asked the Lord for him.’” The desire of my heart may differ somewhat from Hannah’s ….. She wanted a son, and I want a husband who loves God first and then me second. But we are the same in this… God made Hannah persistent in her prayers for her heart’s desire, and now He is doing the same in me!! In the end, whenever that might be, may God be glorified in this marriage as He was in the birth of Samuel!! I guess I won’t be taking any trips to Hawaii any time soon after all……. Thank you God that although I am a weak human being and don’t have the desire or the strength to stay this course, You will not allow me to fall away. Uphold me and carry me when I need it, and may all the people who know me someday say, “God is a God of miracles!” POSTED BY KRISTIN AT 8:02 PM
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