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SUNDAY, JUNE 8, 2008

I want to know what it is about me that makes me hold onto things so tightly. I want to know if there are things that I want so badly that I just don’t want to believe that I can’t have them. Or maybe it’s because God has given me the desire to cling tenaciously to His promises.

Whichever the case may be, I have found that I am an extremely stubborn individual! I have been known to cling to something that I want with a vise grip. Especially if I feel like I’m being told “no”. That just makes me want the unattainable all the more. What can I say? I am determined. At times it would seem that I have an unbreakable will. My sinful nature chooses to hang on for dear life to things that could be detrimental to me just because I think that I need them.

Then there are some things that I believe that God put in my life, but they just aren’t quite what they should be. So God needs to be able to tweak them just a bit. Or maybe alot. But no matter how much needs to be changed, the fact of the matter is that it does need to be changed! I realized something the other day. I was watching my friend with her little girl. My friend had something that her daughter wanted, but it needed to be worked on a bit before her little one was ready to get it back. I remember hearing my friend say, “Let me fix it for you”. And then I recall seeing that beautiful but impatient little miss reaching and whimpering repeatedly for what she wanted from her mom. Little did she know that the reason that her mom wasn’t giving it to her yet was not because she was a big bad meanie, but because she knew that it needed to be made better before it was acceptable for her baby girl. And that was when it hit me- KAPOW!!!! That is exactly what God does for me! He refuses to give me things that He knows still need to be worked on. They need to be fixed before I can receive them in the condition that God knows is best suited for me. And I like the little girl, throw a temper tantrum because I’m not getting the things I want when I think that I should get them.

Another possibility is that I need to be fixed too!!!! Since when do I know better than God? I don’t! So maybe in order for me to be “fixed”, I need to be humbled before the Lord. I need to be willing to submit my every desire to Him and be at peace with knowing that God only gives what He knows is best for me. And I need to accept the fact that I am not promised that I will obtain all the things that I hope for in this life. And if I don’t I need to be ok with that. Because God is holy, and mighty, and just. And He deserves my most humble heart and selfless obedience. Psalm 51:15-17 says, “O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. You do not delight in sacrifice or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.”

After close scrutiny of the choices that I have before me, I have come to the conclusion that a life lived following my own desires is no life at all. True living can only be attained by humility of heart; in realizing that I am the created and in no way equal to my Creator. And through complete and utter obedience; knowing that in following God’s leading I will be given only the best - God’s best!

Heavenly Father, I agree with David in Psalm 86:10-13 when he says, “For You are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God. Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name forever. For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths of the grave.” My greatest desires, hopes and plans are nothing without your guidance. I ask that my thoughts and dreams will be so intertwined with your plans for me that the only thing unbreakable about me will be my faith and trust in You!!!!!!! AMEN!


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